Don’t let Someone else’s Stress Override your Grace
We are born from Grace, filled with innocence, trust, beauty; aside from the need for food and care, that is the way everyone is born. Sure there are defects or special needs in the birth part of life, like Twin Transfusion and such, but we are always born with and from Grace.
But somewhere along the way, between birth and say forty years of age, we gather other people’s stress into our lives, that stress silently transforms us from Grace to a stress filled person; and somewhere between the Stress of others and the Grace we are born with, is where we find us in our personal lives.
Talking to a nurse in the hospital, me being laid up in bed, still comfortable, she would come and spend some talking time with me, it was very pleasing as the conversation went deeper than dirt; quite unusual as there was such a void of societal and scientific manners in our words.
My arms tell my story of love and what’s important in my life, living or waiting in heaven; that’s where the conversation started after pulling all the stickers off that the ER put on my arms and chest to hook me up to the EKG wires. The conversation began at that point, it was carried on over a four-day visit to the hospital, it was deep and helpful for the nurse, and since I was half past dead when I went in; I was taking things serious, because to be honest, this time around I really had an inner peace with moving beyond this life. And no, I don’t believe in suicide.
We talked about the life that she has been living, her children grown and gone, putting up with her husband’s fault filled life for all the years of their marriage, his love of alcohol and depression that overrode the love he should be having for her; she was in the very middle of the place where this title came from for this post. My nurse was a kind gentle person, a nice laugh, and a strong presence of truth in her life.
People can’t be forced to step away from themselves or society to see the failings they are allowing to destroy their own attitudes or welfare, therefore we can’t concern ourselves with that personal inadequacy in any person’s life, all we can really do is tell them what we see; then let the person crash to life’s floor on their own. It may sound cold, but if you’re there to help in a constructive and supportive manner after, then it’s not cold to allow the falling; people don’t want to listen or understand life these day’s, we can’t allow someone’s scattered thoughts of life to degrade our lives so that they can have someone to wallow with.
My nurse is headed for divorce, she said she was giving it one more try before making a reality of divorce, we talked about all the aspects of what she was dealing with, leaving her with the knowledge of who she is in the eyes people that see her true nature shine. We talked about the friend’s that will not be there for her after the divorce because they choose a faulty side, proving that the people were never friends in the first place. We talked about filling up her life with good people afterwards, how living alone and happy with a little bit of good is often far better than living with lifestyles and people that simply want people in their lives to fill some demeaning void. We talked honestly and openly about life, to a point, I wasn’t sure who was the patient, me or her.
Soon I was sent to take a breathing test, three years ago I had the lungs of an eighty five year old, they wanted a new baseline for me. The RT and I had conversations in the past, during the test, he told me the difference between my age and the value of my lungs, he said the difference doesn’t overshadow my life’s wisdom. I took his words as a compliment, but I honestly never look at what I know about life as wisdom, rather just lessons learned in an honest path of life.
Most often the people I see that carry the burden of life like a badge, they rarely have the ability to tell someone who they truly are inside, they’ve been too caught up in their wallowing or following; or simply lost in all that they have allowed to be the conditioning factors of their very lives.
It’s with that thought that my nurse and I finished on, she has paid her dues in her life, it’s time for her to examine who she really is and where part of her beautiful nature has been collecting life’s often times cancerous dust. It’s time for her to build on the Good that comes her way, while stepping away from the more toxic aspects of life that people in life from friendships to family have so far conditioned her to accept as some form of reality.
She asked me how I knew she needed to hear what I said, I told her that I didn’t know, but that I have been where she is and I do everything sober so I retain the lessons of life; it’s more up to me to share what I have learned, no matter the subject matter, as long as it helps someone for the better. With the fact that death has successfully knocked on my door several times in the last three years, and unsuccessfully taken me, I can safely say that life is too short no matter the age or health condition to waste time in someone else’s life destruction or dysfunction.
As I was leaving the hospital, I stopped by to say so long to my nurse and to wish her well, she came around and gave me a hug, I believe we left each other with a little bit of each other’s good, at those moments; life is good. God Bless her, I wish her so much good, she is one of life’s precious souls that so many see, receive help from, take for granted and then forget when they leave the hospital; she deserves the Good of life, to fill her soul, to compaction with Grace.