In life today, before getting closure, it’s what gets a person to the need for closure that really matters. Illness that takes a life is one thing that no one will be able to avoid, it’s always going to be that way, no matter what; the heart will someday stop.
At that point, those left behind will seek closure, via a funeral, for me it was a very long drive, with plenty of stops along the way, through dense forests, long sandy beaches, and big lakes. Everywhere we ever went, I took one beautiful spirit and spent time revisiting each one complete with U-Turns.
Some families pick a spot for a vacation, or a trip to a place on the person’s bucket list, a place that they couldn’t go to, maybe for the reason of the illness; they go and get together to celebrate a life.
That’s some of the ways to get closure, better than some people’s alternative methods, but before the wrong manner of obtaining closure is chosen; think, is this what they would have wanted.
I know of one guy that got drunk after a friend died, hopped on his Harley, then wrapped his very nice Harley around a new car, lost his licence, his job as a truck driver that he will never do again; the choice of closure is important.
The hardest closures to seek, are the deaths that involve Violence, war or crime, it doesn’t matter due to the abrupt manner of death; there’s no chance to understand the death, and no time to say goodbye. It’s so very important to have those final moments with the ones you love, but with violence; those precious moments are sadly taken away.
Children to adults, if there is love, if there is time involved, there is so much loss. With a child, a day or forty years, a loss of a child is only equalled by the passing of a spouse. I almost went through one, the second born, and the spouse; the hardest days of my life. My faith was there through both, my Love of life was there through both, my respect for life was there through both; without those things, I don’t know as that I could’ve handled the first one, let alone the second. And the first survived, and is giving birth to a baby of her own soon. Yes God works in mysterious ways.
But along with the loss comes the unanswered questions, the lack of understanding because we don’t take the time to ask questions of those in our lives when they are alive. Why did you get a divorce, what gives you strength, why didn’t you push harder; what was life like for you after. Or better yet, what could I have done to make things better.
But with a child, there is no time, all the innocence that deserves a chance to live, to learn, to create; no matter the reason for a child’s passing, it’s always a tragedy. I feel so much for parents that lose a child, their grief, their loss. And the children, they show such compassion and strength in the face of true uncertainty, they are on a path they never had a chance to prepare for; but they fight and fight hard while fighting against the odds of survival. But, at such youthful ages, they fight with such dignity.
Where and how can people get closure, by understanding life for one thing; today, some people play with life, while other people wallow in the past, still others have no concept of the here after; which means there’s no real promise of something beyond the threshold of death. Something to think about, stop listening to nonbelievers, scientists, and naysayers; search your soul and see what you think in your core. I really wouldn’t want to live if I didnt have faith in something better beyond deaths door. Work hard at understanding the person that just passed, their feelings, their wishes, what they felt about life and living, then give them more in remembrance.
If life was harsh for them or you, learn true forgiveness for them or you, you will never have happiness if you don’t, but do the same for the living in your life as you never have to take the living to your best fishing spot. But true and honest forgiveness is such a healer for life.
The outcome of life is never anything less than the inevitable, we can throw life away on whatever moves portions of society, there’s no law against that, it’s always a personal choice. Or we can invest in life, the knowledge of life, and pass that knowledge on through sites like Basically Thinking, that’s what started the site, to pass on something to the world, the truth, the ups and downs and how to survive life while avoiding some of the pitfalls. No one will ever be able to say that we won’t trip and fall, tripping and falling is one of the Inevitable’s of life, the same as death of anyone is an inevitable in life.
One thing we do have to know, is how to get back up, dust ourselves off, remembering those that went before us as we move forward in our life here on this dusty orb; something they may have wanted more than anything for you in your life.