Why I don’t get Excited over Birthdays
Least ways my own, it’s got a lot more to do with Love than, say some religion. Guess I am doing this writing for my Children more than anyone, but then it is always nice to share.
The gifts of life, Sears & Roebucks or any store, they may have something I need for a job to finish, but nothing I really want; fact is no person or company could ever fill that order.
You could say it all started when I was young, a lesson learned from somewhere, something, or someone; I just don’t know, but on a deep level, I understand it more today than ever.
I said it had to do with Love, Love is a funny thing for a Child, but never underestimate a Child’s ability to understand the meaning of Love. Oh they are astute in life, it’s too bad the lives of others have to sway the Child, for me, I guess the lesson came in my elementary years; I had my Grandparents Love to compare to my Mother’s Love. As far as my Father, at that age, I had no idea about his Love for me, but I did find out later in life; there was Love there, but he showed his Love more in his gifts that he would hold against the person . . . Me.
There are always gifts given at Christmas, Birthdays, and at times other holidays and occasions, but the one thing I learned, if there is no Love, the gifts are worthless for the giver and the receiver. But if the gift isn’t there, then the person with the happy occasion, then they feel like you don’t Love them; a brutal catch 22 all the way around.
At Christmas, I would rather have a person give my gift or what they would spend to a helpful person or organization, doesn’t even have to be in my name. I celebrate God’s reason for birthdays (Biblical, Not religious) and not mine, I think he understands. A part of my reasoning of life that I hope my Children will someday understand, if they don’t silently understand already. Gifts are better if they go to someone that can really use something the person giving the gift can give; then it’s a gift given with dignity. Like if the cost of the gift can buy food for a family, twenty pairs of shoes for kids; now that’s a gift.
In that, I can’t be bought with a gift, there is no way for that to happen today or any other day. My Father found that out, he thought I was disrespectful, but what’s more disrespectful, a shallow Love bought with gifts; or an honest Love given while asking for nothing in return but an honest Love? He got the answer in his dying days, people are more honest and clear then; I think he left this earth knowing the true meaning of Love.
Sit silent, it might be God that you hear in the gentle breeze, well, if you slow your thoughts of those in your life; you just might understand the depth of their Love for you. Hmm, Love, what a gift, can’t buy it in a store, it can’t be fabricated, mined, or dredged up from the ocean; Love is earned or given freely without the hippieish manners. It’s not words and it’s not substantive, though you can feel it and you can hear it. A Child knows that, more than a person thinks.
My Mother, she did her best, I respect her for that. But with her Love, she had some misunderstandings in her life, at least with me. I always Loved my Mother, didn’t always agree with her, but I Loved her, and was there for her. The payoff when she died, it wasn’t in what I didn’t receive, but in knowing my ability to Love against the odds; and to Love honestly. She had nothing I wanted but an honest Love to come my way, but some people struggle with giving Love, if they are a part of your life, Love will override their actions and regrets they have towards you.
My Father, I didn’t care about the missing years or the divorce, I didn’t care if he was rich or poor, but I did care about the time after the reuniting of the two of us, can’t fix what’s in the past; so it’s what follows that proves the substance in the people involved.
When I felt that I was being bought, as opposed to being Loved, things changed. One, I lost respect for him, but I still Loved him. Two, I gave no quarter to his gee look at me attitude, but I still Loved him. Three, I made it plain as day that I now and till the end, that I expected him to be Real, and I still Loved him. He had a problem with the above, his confusion in life I guess, but I still Loved him, in spite of his trying through the years to buy my Love, yes I gave so many of his gifts away; sometimes, that made him mad, and I still Loved him.
In one month while caring for my Father and his wife, I lost the Love of my life and our dog, when I left So-Cal heading north, I loaded their ashes in the seat next to me; then hit the road. Since my Father and his wife didn’t care to be honest in their life and Love while they were alive, I left their ashes and a gold ring on the mantle for the person (she liked their gifts even though she never took the time to really know them) that was in charge of selling the house; I lost too much there, I was done.
Even if they were still here, they could never find a gift that would make it all okay, but that’s the confusion of it all, if we are going to pass something on; why not make it an honest Love. . .
Some people may think that I have it out for my Family or Families in general, but I don’t. I am trying to show that the confusion in the Family creates the confusion in society, and vice versa. But it’s up to every person to create something better in their life, God didn’t create us to be our Family, or our society; God created us to be individuals with merit and decorum of all that is good and right in life.
Some people simply miss the boat when it comes to Love, and they try to make up for their shortcomings through money or gifts, always a card and a check for a few bucks inside; but what about the time between the special occasions?
All the silence, stupid anger, maybe the neglect or misunderstandings; all the wasted time. And then you take that final journey, someone says kind words because of the moment, or they say there was no Love lost; what’s that make those people? In reality, not as special as they may think they are. It’s like they fight all their lives for the jewels in their crowns, but they always fall short in understanding that it’s an honest Love that furnishes the crown and the jewels.
Therefore, as individuals, we have to take the best in our lives, and do something good with that best, thats why my Children are shown more Love than they may see or understand. Love is not gifts or money, Love is the ultimate gift, Love vs the trinket, the man with everything Never wins; if Love escapes him.
Happy Birthday everyone, like they say, Today is the first day of the rest of your life; live it with an honest Love.
Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. ~ Sanskrit Proverb
Everyday is a good day to do something nice, or make something right; so why wait for a certain day, or a convenient reason to come along; why not just do it?