In the Snippet’s of Time, there is Love….
We all have them, little snippets of time that flit around in our memory banks like guppies in a fish bowl. They are there for a reason, and somehow, in the soul and in the mind, those little snippets of time are kept in some sort of chronological order.
If anyone out there is one of those Scrapbook’ers, and you thought it some new “thing” to pass some quality time with; then think again. God created us, gave us a mind and a soul, we have been collecting those little snippets of time since the seed was planted.
So what are they for?
To learn from, to retain our sanity, to give us a smile when we need one; they are there to help us relax or get over those hurdles that have a way of popping up from time to time. We all have those moments, life never cares if you think you’re immortal or immmune or not. Life is like that, look at it this way, life is here to help us breathe, keep our heart fluttering, our blood flowing; all of the other things we attribute to living is relegated to the heart, soul and the mind.
A friend came to me years ago, they have a problem, well a few of them, but he wanted help in quitting a drinking addiction. We talked, went over everything that can attribute to his problem, as always, the only thing I can do; is leave it up to him. He has the information and the wherewithal to make the change, but still and always it comes down to the person. Took him to the store, he had some money and wanted to get some groceries, which turned out to be more beer than food. On the way to the car, he told me that I would be disappointed in what he bought, I simply told him that the disappointment is not mine; it’s his. No one can take his disappointment for him, it never works that way for anyone, now you know how regrets are formed. Today, he had to go to the store again, so, I had to go pick up some med’s so I said okay no problem. Again, more beer and smokes.
So in that scenario, given the fact that he knows that he can go at least seven days without alcohol, he knows and cared enough to at least talk about my disappointment in him and his efforts; but what should I think about his word, his maturity, his inner strength?
His general word to me is good, I have no problem with his word, though I wouldn’t count to highly on it at times. His maturity is lacking, but look around as everyone knows one or a few older people that show an immature side, that immature side was not produced by some age related disorder; but rather society’s acceptance of trying to stay young in the face of reality. His inner strength, that is so low due to two things, one is from the not so good people in his life, past or present that say or said You can’t do that, too dumb or dimwitted to do that. Second, degradation comes easy these days, in his trying to climb out of that addiction hole, when he looks up, he sees more people that don’t believe in him than believe, more people that won’t listen than listen; that could care less as long as they don’t have to take him home. But you know, in terms of humanity, the guy has got the biggest heart, cares about his family, friends and neighbors, he is an all around good guy; if someone could just find a way of opening that scrapbook of thoughts, memories, those snippets of time that were productive and good.
Gee, what would his life be like, if he could just see what life was like before alcohol took control of his life, before he dumbed down from his use of marijuana, before he started following the “In-Crowd” and all their insane life stealing ways of non caring as long as money changes hands or they have people to wallow with.
That is the reason for the snippets in time, those pictures on our inner wall, the good people in our lives that are now gone, but nonetheless alive inside us. As we dust off their images, we think of what they taught us, their life affirming words.
I stated a while back that I had to make a decision about some people in my life, and I did; after some great thought. This morning, after digging through some now old papers, thinking of what I found, what I read on the papers faces, thinking of the people involved in my life as no man is an island, and their true knowledge-less take on me. Thinking also of what they receive from me, in an honest love and my being there whenever and for whatever; I have decided to let all but two of them go their own way.
Sounds kind of sad, but I can’t let their over controlling manners and lack of understanding of who I am bother me anymore. The one thing that they do have to understand, is that there is no guilt in my decision, because, it was them that didn’t take the time; and my actions were a reflection of them, or that what they received came to them honestly. There is still time to fix the problem, whatever the problem is, because they at their age, they should know by now; that when it comes to life and love, my door never shuts. All they have to do or understand, is that the day of the Matriarch is over, it’s been dead for years.
As far as the two other people, they get unconditional love, that is the way that it stays. On the mature side of life, talks about the past, life, any reasons for whatever in our life connection, regardless if they use my kindness, however they look at our relationship, they get unconditional love no matter what; I have paid my dues, put up with the attitudes, and taken it on the chin more than I ever cared too, and I do so caring more for them than me.
In the interim of life between now and whatever end may await me, a lack or abundance of phone calls, a lack or an abundance of visits, I will busy myself with positive goals or chores; and reflection on the beautiful snippets of my life. Snippets that include a beautiful, unconditional love for those concerned. Quite often, those snippets are heavenly, far removed from society’s view of what is the true meaning of life and love; like before . . . the disappointments are theirs.