This Thing Called Love
There was this young boy, he stayed at his grandparents home during the day while his mother was at work. He looked forward to going to his grandparents home every single day, it was peaceful there. See, when at home with his mother, the young boy had to endure his mother’s words and actions, brought on by his mother’s anger over a divorce from the young boys father, at such a young age; the boy could not understand where or why such anger was coming his way.
All the disparaging words that he would never be worth anything, he was too stupid to do anything worthwhile; he was just like his worthless father.
But when he was at his grandparents home, everything was different, his grandfather let the young boy help him in the garage, in the yard; the young boys grandmother would do the same in the house, dishes, cooking, anything he was capable of doing. The young boy was at peace while at his grandparents home.
On warm mornings, when the morning sun warmed the cement below the garage door, the young boy would lay on the cement, warming in the sun’s light. Sometimes closing his eyes, dreaming in comfort, never knowing if someone even passed by saying that poor boy, look where he is sleeping; this was a peaceful time for the young boy.
Some might say, God’s fingerprints were all over that piece of cement, and the young boy, he was simply basking in God’s everlasting warm and gentle light. Why else, the cement can’t be that comfortable, there is not a soft inch, foot or yard in cement.
Peace is often times found in the heart, and in the soul, there is a warmth there that fills the body from head to toe; if allowed to stay pure and untainted by people’s actions. Somehow, the young boy knew that truth, so every beautiful memory built by the young boys grandparents were tucked away neatly in his heart and soul.
Soon as life often does, the young boy’s grandparents passed away, the young boy was devastated; though somehow he knew his grandparents were in heaven. All that they had done for the young boy were just jewels in their crowns and they were happy there together.
The young boy had gone to church, he studied the Bible, he knew that there was always something more to the life he was living; he just didn’t know what. Then years later, the young boy turned into a young man. Something happened in the church that he didn’t like, a man of corlor was told to leave as his kind wasn’t wanted there. The man left, nonviolently, the man simply walked out, understanding that the asking came from one person, there was no blaming the church or the parishioners; the thoughtful kind man left. The young man didn’t like what he saw, he stood on his principles and left with the man; never to return again.
The young man learned a lot about life that day, the peace that a human can put forth, even in the throws of degradation, and bigotry. The young man was not of color like the man that was asked to leave, but the young man felt every bit of the man of colors discomfort. The two talked outside the church before saying goodbye, when the young man’s mother came out of church, the young man said that this is the last time he would attend the church. The young man’s mother couldn’t understand why, he told her the reason, but it was only part of the reason, the rest of the reason he kept to himself. At that point, the young man was relying on the peace that the man of color had put forth; when the man was asked to leave because of the color of his skin, at that moment all the young man could think was his mother did the same to him. He thought, the color of a man’s skin is of no real concern to humanity, the same as a young boys actions have no real connection between the son and a father that he had never met.
The young man grew that day, he was more the man than the boy, he now had a strength and human morality growing inside him. God’s hand, showing the young man that the church is inside the person, not in the building? Quite a possibility, from that day forward, the young man walked in Faith, with little concern towards any of man’s religions.
The young man, through the future years, relied on his Faith more than anyone knew, even those in the young man’s family of devout church goers never saw nor understood the young man’s view of Faith; always the radical son in their eye’s, always in need of their prayers.
The young man’s life progressed like life always does, work, relationships, fun, life’s reflections through the news that he would see every evening; the young man grew into an older man, still connected to his Faith. He had survived the ravages of divorce, he was blessed with two daughters, and the love of a beautiful Lady.
As with any life, death follows living, both the older man’s parents passed away. The older man’s mother had carried regrets about the older man (her son) but to him, her regrets were her’s and her’s alone. The older man’s mother could never hold a conversation with him without getting angry at him, let alone hug him with an honest love, there was little reason for the older man to wallow in the regrets of his mother, knowing the regrets were formed from all of her years of anger. The older man, in the funeral home gave his mother a kiss of forgiveness on her forehead; then wished her well.
When the older man’s father passed, it was a similar feeling as that of his mother’s passing. Through the years, in his younger days, the older man had gotten to know the father his mother hated so much.
Once members of the older man’s family found out, they turned their backs on the older man. Their feelings in the matter didn’t bother the older man, he had the maturity to confront what was at some of the pain in his younger life; what he found, was the opposite of what his mother was. The older man’s parents were like the opposites of a pendulum, at times dealing with his parents was like being the ball end of the pendulum, always wishing the back and forth movement would stop, never again returning the extremes of the pendulum ends. Ends filled with anger, selfishness, regret, all the while, the older man knew, their actions right or wrong; were a part of his life.
The older man’s father was filled with regrets, so before his father’s death, the two of them worked through the regrets; the older man could have walked away as many do, but it was death at the core of the reason for staying around.
The older man grabbed a hold of his Faith and forgiveness, then proceeded to give peace to a dyeing man; his father.
Just a few years before, the older man let a Lady into his life, in many ways the Lady gave him a new lease on his life, his creative side came back, living had a reason stronger than just surviving. They had ten years together before cancer overtook the Lady’s life.
The importance of good memories is always important, in those ten years the two of them built a lot of good memories, memories filled with love; in spite of all the family and life issue’s, some of which were disheartening as well as dysfunctional in their content. In the end, the good memories overrode the harsh realities of life that the two of them had to deal with, though, in the back of the older man’s mind, he kept thinking; their life, anyone’s life would be more memory filled if people occupied their lives with more goodness than drama.
Cancer is sometimes evident, giving a person time to fight the illness, and sometimes the cancer moves in like a tornado in the night with no chance of fighting the illness no matter the strength of love between each person put together. That is the way that it was for the older man and his beautiful Lady.
One day she was okay, they were planning things to do and places to go and see; the next she was ill with no cure. Within a month, the older man was losing the love he had unknowingly waited a lifetime time for, holding her hand, doing everything he could to make her comfortable. Administering her meds, talking to her till she fell asleep in her pain, never once thinking of anyone but her and her comfort, not even his own comfort had any importance.
The two of them would talk about their love, it’s strength, it’s beauty. They talked about the future according to their faith, where heaven would one day be their home, making their promises to be together again when the older man’s time came; they lived in their faith to the very end when she took her last breath.
In general, people live without the truer side of life, death is left up to nurses and pastors, the general public runs from the thought. The older man couldn’t do that, not with the Lady he loved more than his own breathing. When the older man’s father passed, the older man did everything the hospice people did, but the love of the older man’s life, it wasn’t a chore or a responsibility, it was love day in, and day out, no leaving her side.
Love is never a chore with the living, unless they live by society’s rules in regard to love; but if love is honest, the rules are simple, it’s to the Eternal end. So it was for the older man and the Lady that made him whole, that held his heart, that put his soul at peace; their love was full and eternal.
She was uncomfortable, everything hurt, the cancer had run through her body; every organ was shutting down, and the older man knew it. No matter what, there was nothing he could do but hold her; the feelings of never wanting to let go of someone that you have no choice in the matter, but to let go.
One more I love you, one more kiss, one little confirmation of life; a glimmer of hope. All that resides in love is in those feelings, a part of love that movies and romance novels rarely cover, too hard to write, too hard to film, too hard too convey without losing the box office draw.
The older man took his Lady in his arms, held her close, her body went limp, her last breath spent; gently he held her, laying her body on the bed, closing her beautiful green eyes to the night. The older man reached into his Faith, Lord she is beautiful, give her peace from this illness, I don’t want to let her go Lord. Then the tears ran from his eye’s, there is hope, I know there is hope. The older man brushes her hair, covers her so that she is presentable, gives her another kiss, touches her face, her hair, her cheeks. Always wanting one more touch, remembering that when they were going to be apart, when the road took that turn that reality would hit, they knew it would be a day or a week apart; their souls would kiss, the phone would ring and they would talk. Only this time, the older man knew that there would be no ringing of the phone.
This time, the phone would sit silent, outside of their love, that is what he wanted most, was non-resonant calm, just a quite moment in time before the people would come, taking his Lady away till heaven and eternity would call him home.
Two days past, family called, wanting things, one person even gave the older man a list; he just smiled, stuck the list in his pocket and left; never filling the list, not out of selfishness, but rather out of respect for their love of one another. For years so many people pulled on her, family and friends, they all wanted something; the older man was tougher than even the old school people in the movies, he figured that she was at peace and she was going to stay that way. She meant everything to the older man, their love, their hearts and souls; the older man’s world was wrapped up in her, a world worth protecting.
Sometime after, someone younger, in all their youthful wisdom of life asked: What’s love for if not for fun? The older man looked at the younger person and thought of his youth, how he would have loved to of had all the years, before and after his beautiful Lady passed to have been spent with her.
What’s love for? You won’t like or maybe understand my answer, it’s for the truth of life, its for eternity; love is the compass that guide’s two hearts and souls home for eternity. True love is a blessing from God! Your question shows something of importance has been lost due to the manner in which we live today, if you add one thing to the thought deficient wisdom that society teaches today, let it be this; love should always be taken serious, love is so much more encompassing than people could ever imagine. Have a good life kid, and if you are lucky enough to find that one person that warms your heart and soul, give your love all you have got; because it only happens once.
The older man left, looking up, I love you my beautiful Lady!
Yes, my Lady, when Heaven opens the door to our Eternity, I will step briskly through, where I will tell you a million times over in the first hour; just how much I Love You!!!!!!