What Defines You? Part 2
A defining journey.
The soul retains so much of our lives, if it were a book or a movie, just one person could produce volumes or sequels for the rest of their lives; and still have work leftover for the grandkids. But it’s hard for people to tap the Soul in such a manner, in which case, that might, in this day in age; it might be a blessing in disguise.
On my journey, down the El Camino Real, strange to some people, but stopping near even the oldest, drastically in need of repair Mission; you get a feeling that touches you somewhere deep inside.
Having driven the Mission Trail more than once, I have seen most of the Missions, or, their remains; the same feeling takes place inside me with every visit. Maybe it’s the fact that there has been a high degree of humble peacefulness upon the grounds in the many years past, for some it may be the closeness to God. To some people, it may simply be the historical aspect, the Native American aspect, or the Spanish aspect. How they may have worked to coexist in the same area that drives people to park the car and take a walk.
For me, there has never been a more peaceful place to sit and think than a place that reflects a more spiritual aspect of life, a small country church with open doors, a small clearing in a forest filled with ferns or a stream; or out in the surf while waiting for the next big wave to build up behind me. Any of which carries Spirituality, Peace, and a degree of thought provoking Solitude. For which, in thought of a Soul Cleanse, the above is what you want.
Looking inside the Self, seeing what has been making you tic, what has been driving you in your life to be talked down to, or the faulty attractions that you have upset your life with. Maybe you want to explore the better parts of your life so that you can emulate or expand them, making yourself better, more receptive for those that you love; or for those that love you.
Look at the Soul Cleanse as a starting point to better your life, you don’t have to be a born again believer to do it, but you do have to care about who you are in relation to humanity; along the way, you might just see the peaceful difference between Faith and Religion. That alone would be worth the journey.
After so many deaths in my life, in such a short time with one happening just before this past Thanksgiving, all that is entailed in the Hospice side of death, I needed a break before going insane. Especially when two of those deaths are tied deeply to my heart and soul, they were my gift from God, as was the last death.
It was in those deaths that the depth or my capability to truly love became apparent, but something else became apparent; through a deep and honest love, the mourning was kept to a minimum. The self part of me didn’t matter, the deaths were not mine to control; nor were the deaths mine so that I could feed off of for the sake of having drama to fill my day with. To use a death for dramas sake is selfish and disrespectful, but to love wholly and emulate the deceased better points, now that is showing honest love and respect.
At the same time, no one should ever, selfishly, cheaply or otherwise, tell me that I don’t understand what they are feeling. So many people do that because this is a Me First world, to put it in a plain and simple manner; death, be it animal or human, should never be used as an excuse to ruin or shadow someone’s life. Like love is a part of everyone’s life, so is death; and I have had my share, or at least I thought till just before Thanksgiving rolled around.
The two inevitables of life, is death; and living. To understand the first, death; is to understand the value of the other, living. Once those values are set into the heart and soul by a deep and abiding love, it becomes simple to see that destructive mourning is simply a selfish byproduct of the Self.
Within the above, it is now to be understood that Love is more than a four letter word that is handed out like candy. It is in the investment in the one that you love that counts, love opens the doors to your soul, love feeds your life with life; so never take the meaning of love lightly. A true and honest love is an investment in life, a supportive part of a person’s life; love is never an invitation to frolic between the sheets, love or the ability to love is way too presious to be linked to casual affaires.
Driving down the El Camino Real, the whole reason for the trip was to weed out the dusty litter in my soul, so that the loves that I hold dear, when our souls touch between earth and heaven; they still receive 100% of my Love.
An investment in family is one of the best investments to be made, but seldom in this day; is it the easiest to make. Too many societal overtones, not enough trust in those that the members of the family have to deal with; the societal overtones degrade the value of family down to manipulation, power imposing, money grubbing state of being.
Had to deal with that more than once in my life, directly or indirectly; but I had to deal with it nonetheless.
The last person, a faulty religionist, they handed me a card with all the items they wanted; they didn’t get anything. I would not degrade the love of my life in such a manner, she was more than the sum of money or goods to me, she is still the best part of me. In spirit, Faith and love, she is protected; the list was gathered and sent to the Goodwill so that someone in true and honest need could use it.
The person that handed me the card, on the final day of their sisters life, they couldn’t get off the dime long enough to answer the phone, they even remarked that they were at home when the phone rang; their only barrier was me, I would not play into their greedy and manipulative state of life as I knew that they didn’t care about their sister when she was alive.
Part of the Soul Cleanse journey was in the forgiveness of those in my life, the ones that took with a minimum of giving, not so much in material goods, but in respect and dignity as to who I am as a person; it is a poor excuse of a person that devalues the integrity of another person, also the devaluation shows ignorance on their part. In life, not everyone is blind, some people will not bend due to the lacking thoughts others try to impose on them.
The value of love, and dignity as well as respect often times overrides the arrogance of others. But that is what love does, it feeds the character of a person, they know what they give in life, they also know that they are worth more than the sum of arrogance, power and greedy manners not of their own making.
As such, I had to reconsider my worth as a human, I am no one’s second fiddle to be played when they simply feel like it, I am no one’s jewel in their crown to be kept in heaven for their last day; I am me.
I give help when someone needs it, no need for repayment, if I have the funds and if those within the ranks of family and friends are in need of help in that manner, it’s theirs; repay it when you can. With that thought, I am not a bleeding heart, I have been watching and learning people’s actions for too long to not know an honest action from a false self-serving action.
I reevaluated my Love of the outer world part of my life, nature, architecture, life both animal and human. There is so much beauty to be seen in this world, standing in front of a building designed in the 1920’s, appreciating the details of the craftsmanship. Standing silent in the forest canopy, or, looking at the seals or sealions as they grunt and slither along in their portly flabbyness. Hearing a child’s laughter, or having their tears touch my sympathetic bone when I see them cry. Simply just listening to the wind in the middle of the night, while making wishes on the stars above; that the chemtrails could not cover up.
No need for dark and repetitious movies or books with atrocious truth-less and baseless drama, life gives any of us an abundance of that insanity. I spent so much time on my journey looking at what was around me at any given time, and being very content. Sitting in a reserve parking lot, watching a flock of waddling Canadian Honkers meander about a field, a time well spent; I knew I was seeing life first hand, boring to some, but I was content with the watching and sitting.
What my journey showed me, was that I had not lost my yearning to be human first, accepting and very protective of the love, Faith, dignity that I have in my life. The journey gave me the knowledge to know that the Self, in society, is obese; we humans should not over feed the toxic side of Self too often if at all. If we do, it should be fed humble-ness, and the knowledge of the true value of love, dignity and respect. The journey also showed me that it is an alright thing to protect the good side of the Self, from the toxicity in the world.
In the end, I am more comfortable with who I am, not that I ever had the need; but there is no need to collect people to feel that my life has purpose. My life has purpose in my silent giving, my unconditional love for my daughter’s and some family and friends; and my Love for now three souls in heaven that wait for my day with Grace.
That purpose, no one will ever be able to steal that purpose away from me; because the purpose is in the heart and soul . . . and it is protected.